SECRETLY HURTING - Christian Wives

Introducing my new book "RAPED WHILE I SLEPT" 

Available on Amazon for Kindle or paper back. This is a help book designed to help you to understand more about sexual dreams and the lifestyle we live that can bring causes of such dreams. I share my own personal experiences of being raped while I slept. Pick up your copy now... 
     The Holy Spirit came over me so strong today regarding the wives of Christian husbands' that are hurting deep inside. God revealed to me that there are wives all across this world with a broken heart, secretly keeping it on the inside and in some cases are too embarrassed to tell anyone. Those Christian wives feel lonely with no one to turn to. They question whether or not the right decision was made to take those vows of marriage, or was he really the right person God had them to marry? Ladies and gentlemen we have a serious topic here and I strongly suggest you read, listen, and pray while asking God for the understanding and revelation. This may be talking about your marriage. I want to dig deeper into this to reveal some of the reasons why women are secretly hurting.

     The "Seeker", the "Hunter" spots this beautiful woman! WOW! She is nice! Maybe wife material but will find out. Men have their sights set on you women. Now this woman appears to be far different from others and more sophisticated. Rule 101 out of my charm book won't work so I have to use more than charm to land her. I better pray. A man will work as hard as possible to land that woman he has his eyes fixed upon. A man will try his best to hook up with you. Finally all of that hard work payed off to go out with that beautiful woman. He is telling his friends all about you, how fine and sexy you are. He is telling you all the right things from his heart. You are feeling good because this man is feeling you. There is another big thing that is making you that much more attracted to this man, and that is the fact that he is a man of GOD! PRAISE THE LORD!!!! HALLELUJAH!! You are on that phone calling everyone telling them that you landed a man of GOD!! Not only you landed a man of God but he goes with you to your church or you go with him to his church. Now let me just say that as you should already know, this is just one scenario. I am just using this as an example of how good it is when you meet a man with all the excitement that comes with that. Wedding bells are sounding with excitement in the air. You can't believe that you are actually getting married. You are just thinking about all the reasons for marrying him. Thinking of how he always makes you feel so good, so special, and that he is a complete gentlemen. This man always opens up your car door for you. He even opens up the car door if you're the driver! This man of God completes you. He gives you new life. You feel vibrant, alive, special, loved, wanted, appreciated, put first, made a queen, and needed. You were able to cry on his shoulder while he wiped away your every tear. How great of a feeling is that? Never had a man to treat you like this so it really hits home for you. Now you are a brand new wife! Thank you Jesus!!

     Several years into the marriage there seems to be a change. You notice that your husband doesn't open your door any more. You rarely get flowers outside of your birthday. The only time you hear the words I love you is when you're making love! You have to ask your husband if he still thinks you're beautiful. He will answer yes without actually telling you that you're beautiful. Those were the glory days when he would tell you how beautiful and good looking you were. The night comes when you and your husband go out to dinner but you guys don't hold hands any more. In fact, he is not even walking side by side with you but a couple steps in front or behind you. While sitting at the dinner table there may be only two things that is going on. Those two things are either silence or arguing! If it's arguing then most likely it is over something completely stupid! One person says something then all of a sudden someone get offended. The food comes and while the server is placing the food on the table, he or she is asking, "Is there anything else I can do for you"? The wife puts on a fake smile and says, "No that will be all". The second the server leaves then it's on! Back to arguing and going back and forth over nothing. It gets to the point where you really don't have that much of an appetite anymore. The wife is thinking, I could of just stayed at home or went out with my girlfriends for this mess. I don't need this mess. Then there is silence again. You happen to see across the table from you noticing a loving couple sitting their laughing so hard or just into each other while enjoying each other's company. The flashbacks come of how you and your husband use to be, and praying to God to grant you that again of what you had before.

     Women are very emotional and men know that but don't understand it. Many men don't like it and are not trying to be understanding of it. Wives need to be understood more but unfortunately, most husbands just don't get it. We have to listen to our wives and really hear what they have to say. We can't pretend to hear them because pretending to hear them is like cheating on a test. You keep cheating on your test and you will never actually learn how to solve the problem, or capture the understanding.

     A lot of married men who claim Christ as their Lord and Savior are just way out of control. The man is the head of the house but they just take it way too far. Your wife feels like every time she tries to do something, make a suggestion, or have an idea, you shoot it down. She feels like whatever she does its wrong. You husbands get mad at your wives for the smallest things when all she is doing is trying to help! She is our "Help Meet" remember? Genesis 2:18 "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."
Your wife feels so bad when you yell at her like she's your enemy!! You don't look into her eyes much any more to say I love you! You don't tell her how beautiful she is any more and how much she means to you! You shoot her down for every little thing. You make her cry. You stop reading the bible with her to find yourself fallen away. Your wife has been trying to reach out to you for the longest time but you weren't there for her. She then got to the point where she was just too afraid to even talk to you because if she did then you might bite her head off! You are just to macho, and too big for your own self to take the time to understand your wife. I guess it's because you are running things and what you say goes. While you were at work all day, she cooked you a big meal but what do you do when you get home? You find something to pick on her about! You my friend are a loser! You treat women at your job that you are not even married to better than your own wife! That's because you are attracted to those women which is blinding you from what you have at home! You are just way too hard on your wife! I know I'm speaking to some folks right now. I bet you don't treat your male friends the same horrible way you treat your wives? Only thing that matters to you is sex and you're good!

     Here you are you beautiful wives. Trying to do everything you possibly can to please your husband but nothing seems to work because he is always mad at you? Your husband that was once your best friend is not someone you can talk to any more. You find yourself locked away in your room when he is not around. Arms wrapped around your pillow just thinking, and thinking. Asking questions of what am I doing wrong? Does he even love me any more? Maybe I'm not attractive. Do I need to lose a few pounds? Should I cut my hair? I feel so lonely! You have tears streaming down your face enough to fill a bathtub. You find yourself looking at magazines while watching T.V comparing yourself to other women. I wish I look like her or wish my body look that good. Maybe my husband would be more into me. You say to yourself, "I just don't know what to do anymore". I don't have anybody to talk to. Depression starts kicking in, or you may start eating more gaining extra weight. All of the hurt and pain is being bottled up inside of you because you have no one to talk to. You could talk to your girlfriends about it but you are too embarrassed to breathe a word to them seeing how they think you have the most perfect marriage. What happen to us you ask? Maybe I shouldn't of got married. Maybe I should of married someone else. I am hurting so bad and my husband doesn't even know. He probably could care less for all I know. He rather hang out with his friend than spend time with me. He seems to love going out often without me. My heart hurts and I'm tired of crying but the tears won't stop.

     Listen up you Christian husbands who claim to know and love Christ! Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
You did every thing you possibly could to land your wives. Now you need to do everything it takes to keep them. Warning! You husbands better be careful because there are many men out there who find your wife very attractive! You are allowing the wrong doors to open up that spells trouble. The devil will send a man to your wife. In turn that man will be everything to your wife that you need to be. Your wife is very, very vulnerable, that she wants to be heard and connect with someone emotionally. I'm not promoting adultery but you are allowing that door to be open. This other man will come by and make your wife feel like a queen again, connect emotionally which could lead to adultery! Men think about this clearly and carefully. Think about different sexual areas of your wife you use to love like her legs, hips, butt, or breast. Think about the way she moves while you two are intimate? Now lets shift gears a bit. Try and picture another man inside of your pretty, sexy wife?! Again adultery is WRONG and not the answer but you maybe opening that door because of your disregard of your wive's emotions when she has been trying to reach out to you for years but wasn't taken her seriously! Making her feel like she is not beautiful or not very attractive. I bet when other men are noticing her then you suddenly remember that she is very attractive?

    It really sickens me to see how bad husbands treat their wives! They just want to be loved. They just want to help us. They want to help make a difference and fulfill their wifely duties. Our wives deserves respect and love. They are not hand me downs! They are gifts from God. Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD.

     Stand up you husbands, you men of God! Hear the Spirit of the Lord and sit down with your wife and ask her is there any thing that you want to talk about? Is there any thing that I am doing to hurt you, to make you feel unloved? She still may not want to open up to you so you may have to give her time. She has to first trust that you will be understanding this time around and not bite her head off. Husbands you should be able to hear from God telling you to apologize to your wife before she ever tells you what's wrong. What I'm saying is that you should already know that you have not been treating her like the queen that she is. You know you haven't been right. Really I think you should get on your knees first before God and repent, then get with your wife and ask for forgiveness. 1 Peter 3:7  Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Many marriages either don't last or go on for years with no happiness because of selfishness like this.

     The bottom line here is that many Christian wives are secretly hurting deep down inside due to their over macho dominating husbands who try and control their wives, making them feel unloved causing them to cry often. I already told the men what's needed to be done. You wives have to make sure you forgive. Being forgiving of each other is crucial. Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
If you are a married woman and truly love God and are going through some of this then please pray with me.

"Father in the name of Jesus, I ask you to completely heal my marriage. Bring restoration upon my marriage. Heal my broken heart. Bring my husband back to me the same way he came? Lord I ask that you open up his eyes again to see me as I am just the way you created me? Lord if there is any unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, hatred, adulterous thoughts in my heart then please forgive me. I love you Lord and I thank you for healing my marriage". Amen

Thank you for reading this long blog post. The Holy Spirit is over me so strong while typing this which has me nearly in tears. Wives are not hurting alone because when you hurt God hurts.